Withdrawing out of uncertainty
During my time with molluscum, I avoided closeness. I was worried about infecting someone, and I didn’t want to show myself. Together, these two things led me to withdraw, often without explaining why.
That left its mark. Not on my skin, but on how I saw myself. I felt less free.
In my relationship
During that time I was in a relationship, and we lived together. At home it couldn’t be hidden. Apart from this one person, nobody knew.
At first we talked about it openly. Over time it became a tiresome constant topic. At some point we stopped talking about it altogether.
What I read about how it spreads between adults
According to the German pharmacy magazine Apotheken Umschau, molluscum is passed on through direct skin contact, and in adults also during sex. What I read specifically about the genital area is in the article Molluscum in the genital area as an adult.
I also found this important: molluscum is not only passed on through sex. Close skin contact, shared towels or scratching are enough. So a diagnosis says nothing about how you caught it.
How long you are contagious
From what I have read, it is not known exactly how long you are contagious. The sources assume it may be until the last spot has healed. More on this in the article How long is molluscum contagious? How you handle closeness during that time is a very personal question that I can’t answer for anyone. A conversation with a doctor can help.
What the sources mention for everyday contact
For contact with other people, I read the same points again and again in the sources, for example at the US health agency CDC: that affected areas should be covered with clothing or a plaster, that towels and clothing should not be shared, and that direct skin contact with the bumps should be avoided.
I am only passing this on as I read it. What it means for a specific relationship belongs in a conversation with a doctor.
The silence
The hardest part for me was the feeling of having to hide something. Molluscum isn’t a topic you bring up over dinner. Outside our home I didn’t talk to anyone about it. And at home, over time, the topic went quiet.
“The hardest part for me wasn’t my skin. It was the constant feeling of having to hide something.”
Why it is so hard to talk about
I have thought a lot about why this topic in particular is so hard to put into words. One reason is probably that molluscum is associated with being contagious and often with the genital area too. Both are things we don’t like to talk about.
While reading, a more matter-of-fact picture emerged for me: molluscum is a common, usually harmless skin infection. For many people it clears up on its own, and it says nothing about a person’s worth.
What I would have wished for
I would have liked to know sooner that I wasn’t alone with this problem. Molluscum is common, in adults too.
If you are in a similar situation right now: a conversation with a doctor can bring clarity, including about what matters in a relationship.